On Writing: Ego, Insecurity, and the Life of the Beloved
Several months ago, I emailed my former spiritual director, Debby, and asked her to help me get some perspective. I haven’t met with Debby since I moved to Austin and she moved away from San Francisco. I emailed her because several times during the process of finishing my edits I would feel a panic attack rising up my body. My heart would beat wild, the stream of fear would push up toward my chest. I’d stop and take breaths. Then I’d go back to making final edits.
So much was weighing on this book for me. This was my heart’s work. And what if I ruined it?
At some point in the fall I shared this feeling with my friends at Moms Group. I told them I didn’t think I could bear the pressure of this, the fear that my book might be rejected, that I might be rejected. My friend Kristin, one of many who had watched my kids so I could make deadlines, pulled me aside after and said, “Micha, you’ve got to find a way to make this your offering. You have to find a way to give this to God. Otherwise, it will be too heavy for you to hold.”
I’d love for you to click over to ANTLER today, where I have a piece about the process of learning to offer my work to God, regardless of the outcome. I’m excited to share this post with you because it’s one of the most important things I’ve learned in a long time.